Neglect

For me, neglect is something I've dealt with and [I think] healed from. At least I'm in a much better place than I have been before. There are still residual effects at times, but for the most part, God has worked in my heart to free me from this chain link. Many of you, I know, come from broken homes. Nowadays, I feel like that's a common theme among American households. Maybe you feel it from your parents, a parent, a sibling, a friend, a significant other...the list goes on. I read something from Beth Moore the other day that said "God takes your hurts personally". Think about that. Usually neglect stems from being hurt by something or someone. Not to say that God will vindictively go after the person that hurt you, but He personally feels what you feel. He wants his believers to be happy and to be loved, and to follow Him. When we are hurt, we sometimes turn away from God. For me, I've never felt neglected in being adopted. Some do, but I'm thankful I don't. But my parents are divorced, and I know I'm not alone in that. I just felt a lot of hurt during that time, and that came out in anger towards my dad. I've done much better with all of that, but it has been a long process. Time to look at some Scripture.

"All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you."

-Psalm 38:9

 

I wanted to start with this verse because it just gets the basic principle out there that you can't hide anything from God. He knows when you're feeling a certain way, and He knows why. Well that takes some pressure off. We don't have to explain ourselves. Our heartbreak and neglect is not hidden from God. And, if you're like me, I tend to hide my hurt and feelings of neglect inside. I fool people into thinking I'm actually alright. I've gotten better at that, but I still do that sometimes. But if you're like me, you can't hide that from God. He already knows and is waiting for you to ask Him for peace.

 

 

 

"A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones."

-Proverbs 15:30

 

Have you ever just been walking to class one day and somebody smiles at you along your way? Either it's somebody you know or somebody random, either way, it makes your day better, does it not? It makes mine better. I also find that if I smile at people, my day improves significantly. If you're feeling neglected, there are so many opportunities around you to love people and for people to love you. Somebody is probably feeling the exact same way, you aren't alone in this world. Neglect has a way of making us think that. This verse hit a bull's-eye. Seeing happiness brings happiness to me. It's contagious. For those of us struggling with feelings of neglect, I'm sure we've been experiencing a lot of bad news lately. There is good news in this world, believe it or not. You just need to know how to find it. I struggle with this sometimes when there seems to be a string of negativity going on. Pray, and ask God to enable you to see the happiness and hear some good news to bring yourself to a healthier standing with your environment. I know this from personal experience, but that bitterness I had held me down for the longest time. God brought me out of that little by little, and I didn't notice the gradual progression, but once I did, I realized I don't get angry anymore when somebody mentions my dad. I had such a hard struggle with forgiveness, and God gradually worked on my heart to allow me to be able to forgive him. There are still some things that irk me, but I can now say that I'm okay. That's a huge sigh of relief.

 

 

 

"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

-Psalm 9:9-10

 

 Now, when I think about feeling neglected, not to get all crazy on my vocabulary here, but it's almost like I think of feeling forsaken by that specific person. That's only to tie into the bible verse there, but it is still very true! You feel deserted by that person. This verse is awesome in the way it provides comfort and also gives you a promise, right there. The Lord is your refuge for times of trouble. Times of feeling inadequate, times of feeling unloved, times of feeling hurt...God is your stronghold. He will never falter. That promise at the end of the verse...He will never forsake those who seek Him is awfully comforting. We just need to know to seek Him. If we seek Him with all of our heart, and back to my post on doubt a couple of days ago, if we seek him with the full belief that He will help us, we will find relief in Him. We will find the strength to carry on. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's so true. I needed God's help in forgiving my dad, there is no way I would've done that on my own. I needed God's help in mending my hurt. It took awhile, but I knew God had a purpose for all of it and that He would make me into a stronger person. But I had to humble myself and ask God for help in finding the strength to forgive my dad, but He pulled through, and pulled me through as well. That said, please keep in mind it's always good to talk to a friend, or talk to me even, if you are feeling this way and can't seem to get a hold on your emotions. It's a good stepping stone.