September 25, 2012

Current Undercurrents

Hey guys,

Well, I must say...I have cried more in the last 48 hours than I care for. It's been a mix of things, but mostly just stress and craziness. I don't know what's wrong with me this week!!! Maybe I'm PMSing...that makes everything 100x worse! Girls, you get me. I actually have a personal request for you guys... as you know I have my A2 test coming up this weekend. I'm not sure what's got me so nervous about it, but I am! If you don't remember, it's so I can qualify and be eligible for clinicals next semester. Anyway, I just need prayers for clarity of mind and endurance so I can take this test to the best of my ability.

I have just been feeling very vulnerable the last couple of days. I've been convicted with a few things and I've just had a crazy time. I'm not sure if God is trying to tell me something, or if it's just another one of those tests in life. I'm just trying to pray through it and just pull through. I know God will pull me through. I have no doubt in my mind that He wants me to be a nurse. Likewise, I want to glorify Him in any way possible through nursing. But, these tests and stuff (including my test in microbiology) have me slightly worried. My future has and always will be in God's hands; He knows where He wants me to be, I just need to be strong enough to follow through and get to where He means for me to get to. That is harder than it sounds. I just think I need a little bit of prayer for strength. I know I can do this through Christ. :) He is with me every step of the way. The weird part is, is that I'm not sure why I feel so bogged down. Maybe it's just stress, maybe it is something more. The only thing I can make my best effort towards is to be faithful. Faith, after all, is the only thing that truly matters.

Something that God has been teaching me lately is to trust in Him. Right now, I'm feeling vulnerable, sure, but how often do we really trust him when the undercurrents of life are suddenly and powerfully sweeping us under the waves? We feel like we can't keep our heads above water! I'm not alone in feeling this way, I am certain. I'm being constantly reminded this week how powerless I really am. That feeling of pride and empowerment that we feel about our human attributes? It's pathetic. I literally am nothing without Christ. Good thing He wants a relationship with us and He wants to take care of us! Otherwise, where would we be? Where would I be? God uses our weakest moments to use us for the strongest purposes. That's a cool thought, but hard to think about when the tide is so strong, trying to sweep us away. I have to just lean into Christ always.
Anyway, thanks in advance for everything guys, and thanks in advance for your prayers. I sincerely hope your weeks have been going alright so far! Thanks for reading. I love you guys!

Questions? Comments? Let me know!

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
-John 14:27

September 19, 2012

When Life Has a Hold Over You...

Hey guys,

I don't have a whole lot to say tonight. I just wanted to share a video with you that you may or may not have seen before. It is absolutely powerful, watch the whole thing, even if you've seen it before. It moves me to tears every single time I watch it; it is done to the song Everything by Lifehouse.

What we all deal with on a daily basis could not be more true. How many times do you wish you could go back, wherever you're at right now? You always can. Jesus is always there, waiting for you to return. He wants all of you. He has the ability to protect you. There is nothing to mess around with in this world, Satan knows how to hit you hard. I hope you guys find some encouragement in this video and know that the only place that brings peace is in Christ. When life has a hold over you, run to Jesus. Love you guys, hope your stressful weeks are going well!! Thanks for taking the time to read. :)

Thoughts? Questions? Let me know!

"He will not let your foot slip -- he who watches over you will not slumber...the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
-Psalm 121:3,8

September 14, 2012

Identity in Christ

Hello All,

Well, I just wanted to give you guys a fair warning about the next three weeks. I am going to be swamped. I will have very little time for blogging as I have some very important things coming up. Can I just lay it out for you? Okay, I will, thanks for wanting to hear about it! Next week I have a microbiology test and an elementary statistics test. The week after I have a 10 minute spanish presentation over Venezuela and a research outline due that I have to do research for. That Saturday, I have my A2 exam - which is a four hour test that I take so I can qualify for clinicals [AH!]. The week after that, I have my microbiology lab exam and my African Diaspora midterm [ON THE SAME DAY]. That is not to mention all my other little homework things to do in between such as reading. My social calendar is also packed. So, to say the least, I'm going to be swamped. You may say, poor me, I have a social calendar, but some things are happening that I wasn't anticipating which is why it's also stressing me out. Goodbye sleep! However, I do have some things I'm very much looking forward to. I have two dances coming up - one is mine and the other is Phil's - which should be a blast. Also, Phil is absolutely wonderful, the best boyfriend ever really, and got two tickets for us to go see Les Miserables!! If you don't know, it's my favorite musical. :) That will be that night after my A2 exam.

I am very blessed, I suppose, to have this much going on. I wanted to be a nurse, right? I should be expecting these sorts of weeks. It's still just stressful, and I would appreciate some prayers! There are some very important tests and things mixed up in there. Thank you guys so much! :)

I just wanted to talk to you guys about something that has been on my heart lately. I was thinking, what would our lives look like if Christ was our everything? We say that, sure enough, but do we really live it? We were having a discussion about identity formation and religion in my African Diaspora class. My professor asked us to answer the question: What part has religion played in your life in forming your identity? Of course, I automatically wanted to say 100%. And, that is not far from the truth. Most of the decisions in my life come from the root of religion for me. And, my relationship with Christ is not religion, but something that is a part of me. So, it definitely forms my identity. It has a huge impact. I was surprised to find out, though, that some people in my class felt that religion played absolutely no part in their lives. Either they didn't believe in it, or they felt like it was a good source of comfort for most people. True, it is a source of comfort for us. But, for me, it's more than comfort. It's praise for the good days and the miracles I encounter, it's the blessings I find myself taking for granted sometimes, and it's certainly for those hard times when we need guidance most of all. I had a friend tell me once, that God is great and everything, and He will always be there when we need Him, but we create our own future in the here and now. Basically he said God was a fall guy for when we needed Him. I don't agree one bit. What would it look like if Christ was our everything? What if He was in everything we did, in every decision we made? Would your life look different? What has God been teaching you lately? I know He has been teaching me to incorporate Him into my daily life, making Him my everything. He should be a gigantic part of your life. He should be shaping every decision we make. He should be the center of our identity. Food for thought. Thanks for reading. :) I love you guys!

Thoughts? Questions? Let me know!

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."
-Psalm 139:7-10

September 11, 2012

Compromise --> Promise

Hello everybody!

I hope you had a great weekend, and that your Monday has been going well! I know football season started, and it was a super fun weekend! However, getting back to school seems very difficult. :P

Anyway, I just wanted to update you guys on some things that have been going on in my life. My usual blog posts end up talking about some life principle, but as this is also a blog about my life, I shall share! I'm not sure if you guys remember me talking about the numbness in my hands and such []... I just want to thank you all for your prayers. The numbness is still there, it hasn't exactly gone away. I'm improving on keeping track of my blood sugars though! I've actually had a couple of low blood sugars recently, and I'm taking that as a good sign (although a low blood sugar is never a good thing). Since it is lower, that means I'm giving myself insulin and not completely forgetting about it (even if it is too much insulin). It means my blood sugars are staying lower, which is definitely beneficial. But, the numbness is still very much there, and some days it's worse than others. It's not constant though, from what I feel, and some are more frustrating than others. Just please continue your prayers. :) Prayer is powerful, and I appreciate every single one! I would also ask that you pray for another grandpa is not doing very well. He has been in the hospital multiple times, and literally has everything under the sun. You name it, he's probably got it. Anyway, I just ask your prayers for my family, especially my mom. It's always hard dealing with something like that. My understanding of how all of his conditions are working together to affect him, brought on by my brief nursing knowledge, disheartens me. He is a fighter though. I talked to him on the phone the other day, and he sounded like his old self, just very tired. Anyway, prayers are appreciated!

I want to end up today with something super positive! :) I am involved in a bible study with my church...Mckinney Church. The book we are reading is called Made to Crave: satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food. by Lysa Terkeurst. Girls, I would already recommend it (even with just reading the first chapter). Now, I was reading our book... and here is a quote I read in the introduction...

"What happens when you delete 'com' from the word compromise? You're left with a 'promise.'"

How cool is that? Have you ever thought about that? If you don't compromise, you have a promise. How would our lives look if we never compromised our faith? We do it daily...we think, "Oh, it's just this one little time", or, "Oh, this doesn't matter that much...". We even say stuff like, "I'll think about the consequences later, and I'll deal with them then." I encourage all of you to not compromise your faith. Live now for everything you stand for. Live the way you were called to live. Lead those around you, and be an example. You don't have to be outspoken. If you're like me, you are more quiet. That can have the same effect on people. People are always watching. End the day with a promise, and start the next day with hope. Thanks for reading.

Also...I'd like to take a moment for those involved in/who lost loved ones in September 11th. My dad is a firefighter and a paramedic, and my mom was a flight attendant who was supposed to be working that day. I also have a couple of uncles who were flying planes that day. Thank the Lord they're with me today. We will never forget.

Questions? Thoughts? Let me know.

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."
-2 Peter 1:3-4

September 5, 2012

Why Women Are Strong - God's Perspective

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said. His mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said...
"When I made the woman, she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And, finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed. You see, my son --" said God, "--the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
-Author Unknown

Isn't that beautiful? I'm not sure where I found that, but I did a long time ago, and it still gives me chills reading it. The strength of a woman comes from God. My strength comes from God. Your strength comes from God. Guys reading this who follow Christ, God has a woman like this in mind for you. This is what God makes us to be.

Questions? Thoughts? Let me know!

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.....She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."
-Proverbs 31:10,25 {I advise you to read all of it}

September 3, 2012

A Loved Woman of God


This is mainly a message to you (although it would be good for guys to read it too). It's something that just kind of fell on my heart today, and I need to share. College is such a different atmosphere. There are girls in sororities, cute guys walking around, and we all have the desire to feel wanted. I see it every day. I feel it every day. We compare, we judge, and we fall short. I see girls just walking around campus with their hair and makeup picture perfect. I see girls hiding who they really are. We compensate for our supposed failures with less modesty, less respect for ourselves, and feelings of inadequacy. Sometimes we hide behind baggy clothes. Why do we torture ourselves like that? I know, I know...the beauty industry has a way of getting under our skin (literally). But why do we feel the need to wear less clothing, look the part, and dress ourselves up in the image of the world around us? Often, we don't feel loved.

I am very grounded on my view on this subject, and I would like to share it. I struggle as much as any other girl with their appearance. I have those things I wish I could change, I have those things that I compare myself to. It is never a fulfilling experience. It only makes me feel worse, as I assume it would make you feel. I can't express how much we think about these things, especially to the guys reading this post right now. What I do when I deal with this particular struggle is I turn to the Lord in prayer and renew my self worth by remembering that I was created in His image; He knows me inside and out no matter what I put on the outside. I can't hide from Him, and neither can you. And He truly loves you, with everything. Girls, I encourage you to walk in the image of God. See yourself as a precious daughter of God. He doesn't care if your mascara is perfect, he doesn't care if your hair is perfectly curled or straight, he doesn't care if you don't have that french manicure. He also doesn't care if you don't have the perfect calves, or the perfect legs, or the perfect body weight. He made you in His image. He would rather see you completely natural. Completely natural. I read something once that somebody wrote from God's perspective, and it goes something like this...

"I made you in My perfect image, and yet, you paint over my masterpiece..."
Girls, when are we going to realize that we are all already perfect in God's eyes? He loves us under our surface, and sees right through the act. We wear makeup, immodest dresses, transparent shirts, and we crave love. For us Christ followers out there, my fellow sisters in Christ, we already have the love we so desperately crave. No human can satisfy that sort of desire. Maybe for a little while, but when that fades, as it does inevitably, where do we go? We are lucky in the fact that we are loved unconditionally, and it is the sort of love and attention we all crave. And...we will always have it. What does it mean to you to be a woman of God? We need to set the example. I'm not saying don't look cute, and don't have fun with fashion, but we all know that line between trying to get attention and just trying to look nice. We all know. Just walk in the image that Christ meant for you to walk in. Walk with Him. He will love you more than anybody else on this earth. Most of all, help the girls who we know struggle with this.We all know how it feels to fall in that trap. Be there for each other and remind ourselves every day how we are loved and worth being respected, no matter what we feel towards ourselves. We have something that can cure this struggle, which is the best part. :)
Want to share something with me or ask my advice? Let me know!
"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge --that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
-Ephesians 3:16-19

September 2, 2012

Talk To Me

Hello everybody!

I hope your first week(s) of school went well! This blog post is going to be super short and basic; it's kind of an intermediate post, but I just wanted to tell you guys some things!

On this blog I talk about things I'm going through, and I hope you guys learn from me and take something away from my experiences. But, through all that, I just always feel like I'm talking about myself and I don't like that so much. I love sharing with you guys, but I don't like being the center of attention all the time. So, I'm writing this to tell you to get in touch with me! :) I would absolutely love to hear what you have to say, or the questions you have! It can be about anything - me, my life, my view on something, how I would address a problem you're encountering, any advice I can give, and anything about faith. What do you want to talk about? It can remain anonymous or it can be public, I will do either. I'm a pretty open person. This can be anytime. I'll continue my usual blog posts, but I think it would be fun to have some of you in here! :) Of course, please don't feel obligated, but I would love to hear from you.

On a side note...those of you who would rather get a hand-written letter from me, write me here at TCU! I love random letters and notes, they make my day! And I always write back as soon as I can. Contact information is below...

 TCU Box 291437
     Fort Worth, TX 76129
~ or ~
Leave me a comment on this post!

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
-Proverbs 17:17

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