March 12, 2014

Momentary Reprieve

Was my last post truly on February 10th? Wow. As I sit here, pondering why on earth I have waited so long to write another blog post, the only thing I can come up with is that I haven't felt inspired lately. My heart hasn't felt uplifted. There has been so much going on in my head and in my life - I just haven't had the energy to write a blog post.

Well, as I sit here writing this, in my TCU nursing sweatshirt, hair still wet from a swim at the gym (haha that rhymes), I am eager to finally write another blog post. It was so odd, it came to me in the car on the way home from Lifetime Fitness. I just swam a few thousand yards, and like I always do after I swim, I felt satisfied that I went...even if it was at 8:00 at night. In the car I switch through the pre-set channels and wonder if I feel like listening to country music or if I feel like listening to Christian music. I settle on Christian music. It was odd, after a moment, barely even listening to the music, I felt happy. If I'm going to be honest with you, I haven't really felt that way recently. I've felt bogged down, worried, tired, worn out. But, in the car just now I felt lighter.

The weird thing is, nothing has particularly changed in my life since when I left for the gym. It was just like a momentary reprieve of everything that has been going on in my head. Something lifted from my heart. It was just a few moments, but I just felt that God has everything right where He wants it. He has me right where He wants me, and He knows exactly how I've been feeling and exactly what my life is right now. Funny thing, He always knows exactly what my life is at any given moment; I seem to forget that time and time again. But, in the car, it was almost like a reminder, that God brings me through everything I don't think I can handle or deal with. He's got this, I don't. Worry is one of my worst enemies and it gets me every single time. I am so incredibly susceptible to worrying about everything. That momentary reprieve in my car just felt like a wonderful reminder and I felt happier than I have been feeling. Not that I've been depressed, but I've been wondering what God's trying to teach me, what He's trying to lead me through lately. And, I don't have it figured out, unfortunately. But, I'm just saying, the little reprieve in the car was a nice reminder. I couldn't help but start praying and thanking God for what He's given me, what He's gotten me through in the past, and thanking Him for always being in control. I wish the moment had lasted longer. Anyway, I hope all of you are having a wonderful spring break! Hopefully, next time, my next post won't be so far away from this one!

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
-Matthew 6:33-34

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