July 10, 2014

Controversy For The Day


The link above is something I saw on facebook yesterday. It is called "11 Reasons Why Your Relationship Isn't Actually Holding You Back". I must tell you, the #8 reason actually made me a little bit angry. Here is one of their reasons why your relationship isn't holding you back:

#8. You have consistent, meaningful sex with someone you care about (and who cares about you)

Great. First of all, I was surprised to see that this had its own number in the list. This #8 implies that if you are in a long-term relationship, you should be having sex. It implies that sex is expected in a relationship. This ideal is also present in almost every movie out there, every magazine, etc...this "meaningful sex" is what people want in a dating relationship. Well, let me tell you one thing. I don't believe it for a second. In fact, I would argue the opposite. Sex does not have to be part of a long term relationship. Physical attraction, yes. Sex, no. It is incredibly sad that "dating" in this world includes the expectation of having sex with the person. Our society is inundated by this ideal. Think about it. We are raising young girls in this sort of culture. Out society is raising young people to believe that this is expected. Whether or not parents reinforce that does not erase the fact that society is filled with it.There is absolutely no reason to have sex with someone just because you are dating him/her. It is not required; it should not be expected. There is no point in which, after dating for a certain amount of time, you must have sex.

Side note...marriage is different, and that's not what I'm talking about in this post. This post is not meant to pass judgment on people. I am not trying to say that these people are awful and immoral. Far be it from me to judge behavior. I am merely commenting on the fact that sex in relationships now seems to be expected.

Standards of morality adjust with the times. Elvis Presley and his music used to be unwelcome among society. Now, he's a classic. The Rolling Stones used to be unwelcome. Now, they're a classic band. Ideals of sexual morality have evolved with time. Everyone has different thoughts about this matter. Religion, upbringing, and education all influence views on this concept. I just want to put out there that I don't think sex should be considered in this way. Granted, my religion and morals are influencing what I'm saying here, but I just want to say to the girls out there - you do not have to sleep with the guy you are dating if you do not want to. If that is a deal breaker for him, then he isn't the right guy for you. For the guys out there - you sometimes feel as much pressure as the girls to have sex, probably even more. You don't have to have sex either. You shouldn't expect it from a girl and you shouldn't expect it from yourself, if you don't want to.

I realize that this post may be a bit controversial. This is not meant to judge anyone, but to only comment on the ideals of the "dating world". We are in charge of our own choices whether we are guided by religion, education, or upbringing. God gives us free will, but the original purpose of dating is to see what kind of man or woman you want to marry. The purpose of dating is to find satisfaction in the other's values, in their love, and their security. Sex taints a lot of things when you're dating. It makes everything more complicated. So, the point of my post is getting the thought out there that sex should not be expected from the guy or the girl when dating even if our society implies so. And, if you don't want that in your relationship, it is okay. However, we all know that you can't go wrong with a bit of romance! Thanks for reading.

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."
-1 Corinthians 6:18-20

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