My last blog post contained a bit of a searching tone; I have been concerned about a few things in my life and am at that "graduating senior" stage where graduation is imminent and uncertainty is a part of life. But, I've had the greatest calm come with that for the last couple of weeks. It is a wonderful feeling. I don't know how it happened or why I feel this way. I think it started with the snow. Friday morning I felt so happy. I wanted to share it with everyone around me. I hesitate to write all of this in case I jinx this feeling. But, here I go...
How do I describe it? Despite everything that has gone on this semester, the stress, the tasks in front of me, I don't feel afraid. I feel excited. I feel so ready to go into the world and start working as a nurse. I am so excited about life! I feel at peace about jobs after graduation. Have I applied to any yet? No. Have the applications opened for hospitals in Colorado yet? Not quite (but almost). Are people getting jobs already here in Texas? Yes. But I still don't feel afraid. I know God has it in His hands. I know He is going to put me where I need to be. Am I going crazy trying to get my thesis done? Yes. Am I going to finish it eventually? Yes. Is God going to take care of me? Yes. I haven't had very many periods like this in my life in the past four years. I have been constantly learning, constantly adapting, constantly worrying. Granted, I've had quite a few breakdowns, but for some reason this past week I have just felt secure. I've learned so much about myself and about life these past four years. And I know God has me, and He has you, in His hands. God has not stopped walking beside me...ever. And I am going to be alright.
What can I say? I love the snow. I love the serenity it brings. I love quiet, uninterrupted snowfall. I love waking up in the morning to a white blanket on the ground. I love the promise of playing in the snow and then coming in for a quiet night of reading/watching a movie and something hot to drink. And I love that I could have a reminder of footprints in the snow this past weekend. It's like footprints in the sand, but much more Colorado style!
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."