January 23, 2012

Pondering My Securities


So, I've been listening to Josh Groban basically all day. He is so fantastic. If you aren't familiar with him, I highly encourage you to listen to him. His voice is so addictive. AND the best part is, is that not all of his songs are in english. Some are in french, some in spanish, and I think some in italian. Who knows, it may be latin. Those of you who are more familiar with Josh Turner, and his deep, gorgeous voice, Josh Groban has that sort of voice except only slightly less deep...and he is not country haha. Anyway, I'll put a link at the end of this for you to go listen to one of my favorite songs from him! Sometimes I wish I was muscially talented. I mean I can play the piano, not very well anymore, but I was pretty good when I was younger! That's not what I mean, though. I love instruments, but I wish I had one of those awesome voices! I suppose with training I could have, but oh well. :) I was too busy with swimming! And I don't regret that for a minute!

So in history we have these map quizzes. Why am I taking a history class when I want to be a nurse you ask? Well... it's required for honors haha. Otherwise I wouldn't be. But we have these map quizzes. I thought I was done with those like my sophomore year of high school. Guess not. But, my history teacher did say she gives them because one student she had one year pointed out Cuba when she was asked to identify Ireland. Now, that is really sad. Most everybody knows the difference between Cuba and Ireland. Don't worry, I do. :)

Also, if you didn't know this about me, I am obsessed with the musical Les Miserables. Josh Groban has that kind of voice that makes me think of it. Michael Ball is also very good, and he is in the 10th Anniversary performance of Les Miserables. Haha bunny trail... but anyway, it is such a great musical. The 10th Anniversary is my favorite. I heard they actually made a movie of it with Liam Neeson as Jean Valjean, but I feel like the movie would ruin the musical.

So, I know I've been blogging every day now. This probably won't keep happening. I know you all are just DYING to hear about my life ;) but I'll definitely try to keep doing it at least every other day. It just depends on the day. It's so weird. My day started off fantastic this morning. I got up, went and worked out, went to class, and have been working on homework. But, it's weird, every time later in the evening, sometimes I start feeling just....worn down I suppose is the correct phrase. Like, I'm still happy, but it's just a weird feeling. Maybe it's because I tend to think about more as the day wears on. Not trivial stuff, but life stuff. Maybe that's what's wearing me down. It being Monday may also be a factor, but this happens more than once a week. Maybe you guys can relate? You probably can. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way, but it sure can feel like it. Pondering my future and wondering about my securities in life can be relatively stressful! Then I realize the only secure thing I have really is my faith. God is probably the securest thing I'm ever going to find. Despite me being energetic and having confidence in myself and my choices, I'm really not very secure. I get nervous more then I let on, I sometimes feel like crying more than anything when I stand there and smile and reassure people that I'm okay, I compare myself to beautiful girls on campus, I worry needlessly about being alone in life, I worry about being somebody, especially since I'm not swimming, and I can't seem to get my life in conrol. Good thing God has it all figured out. I'd be so incredibly lost without him. He provides me with the security I need to be strong in Him. It's a freeing thought, but even when I know that, I struggle with these things every day. Maybe you do too. That's why I'll end with two Bible verses that are bound to leave some comfort. I'm here if anyone wants to talk about sharing these sorts of feelings. We can talk through it together. Thanks for taking the time to read. :)


"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
-Psalm 73:26

"'..And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'"
Matthew 28:20

JOSH GROBAN - "Remember When it Rained"


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  2. I know how you feel Mo, we just need to know that God has a plan no matter how many doubts and insecurities we have. I hate waiting, but we'll see eventually of all the great things He has in store for us ya know? I definitely know He has a lot of amazing things for you. :)

  3. Thanks Jackie :)
    God has a super awesome plan for you too :) I'm sure of it!
    And YOU are certainly one of those blessings in my life! :)


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