March 13, 2012

The Great Divide

Hey guys,

You know the most frustrating part of having divorced parents and you're the only one who lives out of state? You get different stories from both over the phone and you never know what parent to believe. You've learned to trust both parents growing up and now it just gets confusing. Well, for one, I want to believe both of my parents, but it's hard to tell which one is valid even though I may trust one more than the other at this point. But I still don't completely distrust the other. I don't know. It's so frustrating. And, on days like this, I need God's fatherly comfort more than ever. My fears were confirmed 15 minutes ago. I can't talk to my dad on the phone for three minutes without yelling and getting into a discussion. It didn't used to be like that. I mean I used to go get ice cream with my dad. Not anymore. I don't call him unless I really need to know something. This is a frustration today that not even Disney music can fix. :( When I go home for spring break I don't even know if I want to see my dad. That's pretty sad. I just don't know if I can have a civil conversation with him. Lord, help me. Please. Ugh. I'm definitely pushing the struggle bus's not even making the rounds.

Something that has been on my heart lately... with all this going on, it is easy to think that I don't have a full family or that my family is so broken and I don't get the right amount of love that I need. I was watching the move Grease the other day, and a quote that Frenchie said just hit me, right away. She said, comforting Sandy over Danny, "The only guy a girl can really count on is her daddy." I heard that and I just felt sad. I mean, like I've said before, my dad is not exactly the picture of fatherhood. But I was also thinking that it's okay. I have all the love I'm ever going to need. I have a family in Christ. He is my father. Not my earthly one, but He is all the father I'm ever going to need. I mean, I'm called a daughter of God as a Christ follower. That's a pretty cool fact. I guess I get so caught up in my little world down here that I forget my problems aren't even a black dot in the vastness of this world's problems. I have a challenge for myself as well as for you guys... living in God's love is one thing, but being God's love? That's a whole other story. My faith circle book says that we are the living messengers of God's love. We have that responsibility. It's a cool responsibility though. We are the walking, breathing, and living messengers of God. He is never gone. He is always there. Thank goodness for that.

Well, now that I've probably been complaining for too long, I think this week requires a little bit of humor. Me being me, I love puns and nerd humor. I think I'll post a few funny pictures... :) They will be good for a laugh. Did you know that laughing for 15 seconds adds two days to your life span? I'm not sure if that's true, it's just something I've heard. But, it probably has an aspect of truth to it. And you are welcome. I just added at LEAST two days to your life, if not more. :)
Thanks for reading!

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him."
-1 John 3:1

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