September 25, 2012

Current Undercurrents

Hey guys,

Well, I must say...I have cried more in the last 48 hours than I care for. It's been a mix of things, but mostly just stress and craziness. I don't know what's wrong with me this week!!! Maybe I'm PMSing...that makes everything 100x worse! Girls, you get me. I actually have a personal request for you guys... as you know I have my A2 test coming up this weekend. I'm not sure what's got me so nervous about it, but I am! If you don't remember, it's so I can qualify and be eligible for clinicals next semester. Anyway, I just need prayers for clarity of mind and endurance so I can take this test to the best of my ability.

I have just been feeling very vulnerable the last couple of days. I've been convicted with a few things and I've just had a crazy time. I'm not sure if God is trying to tell me something, or if it's just another one of those tests in life. I'm just trying to pray through it and just pull through. I know God will pull me through. I have no doubt in my mind that He wants me to be a nurse. Likewise, I want to glorify Him in any way possible through nursing. But, these tests and stuff (including my test in microbiology) have me slightly worried. My future has and always will be in God's hands; He knows where He wants me to be, I just need to be strong enough to follow through and get to where He means for me to get to. That is harder than it sounds. I just think I need a little bit of prayer for strength. I know I can do this through Christ. :) He is with me every step of the way. The weird part is, is that I'm not sure why I feel so bogged down. Maybe it's just stress, maybe it is something more. The only thing I can make my best effort towards is to be faithful. Faith, after all, is the only thing that truly matters.

Something that God has been teaching me lately is to trust in Him. Right now, I'm feeling vulnerable, sure, but how often do we really trust him when the undercurrents of life are suddenly and powerfully sweeping us under the waves? We feel like we can't keep our heads above water! I'm not alone in feeling this way, I am certain. I'm being constantly reminded this week how powerless I really am. That feeling of pride and empowerment that we feel about our human attributes? It's pathetic. I literally am nothing without Christ. Good thing He wants a relationship with us and He wants to take care of us! Otherwise, where would we be? Where would I be? God uses our weakest moments to use us for the strongest purposes. That's a cool thought, but hard to think about when the tide is so strong, trying to sweep us away. I have to just lean into Christ always.
Anyway, thanks in advance for everything guys, and thanks in advance for your prayers. I sincerely hope your weeks have been going alright so far! Thanks for reading. I love you guys!

Questions? Comments? Let me know!

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
-John 14:27

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