January 30, 2012

Heartfelt Emotions


Well, I have finished the second book of the Mark of the Lion trilogy, and I'm well into the third! It is so good! I literally fall in love with fictional characters, but there is something different about these characters. They make me feel like I need to work on serving my friends and family with just complete humility. I need to be humble. The hope and the loyalty I see in these characters bring tears to my eyes. It also is giving me a beautiful hope that God really does work through tribulation to bring you to Him. It gives me hope that He has so many plans and will bring me to the right people and help me hopefully help me to touch those who come into my life. It is also giving me hope that God will bring the right guy to me someday. He will lead me there, but I need to love God first before I can find the things I'm searching for. It's just worth waiting for the right person, no matter what that means. It gives me hope and makes me able to bear my want of finding love elsewhere, when I know it's not right. Everything is never fulfilling enough unless you have God. God is the only thing that can fill that hole that you I am desperately trying to fill with worldly things. I'm speaking to myself here, but I have no doubt that there are others who need to realize this same thing, me most of all. These are probably the best books I've read.

Weird how reading a book can bring me encouragement... :)

Ignite tonight was pretty eye opening. One of my biggest struggles where it's hard to give God His rightful authority is with events in my life. I want so badly to control things that it causes so much stress when things don't go as I thought they would. Partially because I don't ever want to hurt people, which ends up happening sometimes, and I know the authority is not mine to have. I forget so many times that God is in complete control. I only have to follow, but I never knew following could prove to be so difficult. I struggle with handing situations over to God. I say He is in control, but half the time, I'm only saying the words. I'm secretly and desperately trying to control what happens. Notice how we always give thanks to God when things go exactly our way and blame Him when they don't? I certainly am guilty of that. I hate to admit it, but I am. I do it daily. I wish my faith was stronger. I wish I had the guts to give my life over to God when He holds the utmost power. I cling to the little things in life without realizing God already knows what I will experience with the outcome. I look elsewhere for worldly satisfaction when there is none. The only prayer that comes to my mind when I see I'm guilty of it again and again is "Forgive me for my weaknesses." Isn't that the only thing I can say? I have no right to claim anything. God is authority. He continues to mold my spirit every day, I only hope I have the strength to accept whatever that entails.

Thanks for reading.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
-Proverbs 3:5-6

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