June 29, 2012

A Personal Request

Hey Guys!

Well, this should be a short post. I just have a couple things to say! First, I only have one more week of Anatomy and Physiology I! :) Three more tests then I've passed it for good! Two in lab, one in lecture! Bring it.

My next point of discourse is somewhat personal. I just want to ask you guys for prayer. You all know I'm a diabetic, and as of June 21, I've had it for 17 years. Well, diabetes isn't just about not getting insulin automatically. There are many other health risks. Serious ones. Well, on and off this past year I've been experiencing some slight numbness in my toes and just weird sensations. It's only in my toes, nowhere else. I thought maybe it was a pinched nerve except, there is no pain. Well, I was looking some stuff up and my mom also brought it to my attention, that those symptoms I was experiencing had something to do with diabetes. I looked it up and apparently it's quite common in diabetics to feel something like this. I'm terrified that I'm experiencing symptoms of something called Peripheral Neuropathy. In other words, I have not been up to par in taking care of myself. I don't have to tell you that it's difficult living with diabetes. The worst part, though, is the apathy and frustration that gets in the way. Believe me, I've had my fair share of that. Several months ago my doctor said my kidneys weren't very happy. It scared me a little so I got back on track. I try every day to get it right. Well, you guys also know that it's been a hard year (a good one, but hard), and I've had so many things on my mind to keep me busy. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't keep myself accountable like I should have. Those of you who know me well know that I don't easily give up. Well, my frustration and apathy with all of this has been under my surface for awhile. I'm just tired of it. Tired of everything. Tired of getting it wrong. Tired of having the constant stress. Frustrated with my incompetence. And now this. I have no excuses. It may be nothing, but I am just scared. This stuff is real.

I'm no invincible human being. My health is a big weakness, and always has been. This stuff can be taken care of, and I'm exercising and eating right, so that helps. I just need some prayers for strength and, I guess, discipline. Quite frankly, I'm scared. It's a new type of fear entirely. Anyway, I love you guys, and if you're praying, thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

"God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day."
-Psalm 46:5

"Surely God is my hlep; the Lord is the one who sustains me."
-Psalm 54:4

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